Snow!

It snowed today! Not much, but still it did. Yesterday it was 70 degrees, today it felt like 15 degrees. It was cold...especially in my scrubs that did very little to block the chilly wind. But still it was so nice. The resident let us go home early to avoid the crazy traffic that usually results when even a little bit of ice is present on the roads. So I studied a little and enjoyed a nice TV evening watching Grey's Anatomy and ER. I'm so glad I'm learning about medicine.

another day at Parkland

today was just another day at Parkland
but for me, it was a day when something clicked
i actually started to feel comfortable with the system
comfortable enough at least to be able to connect with the patients
not just merely do a history and physical and run labs, but engage
i saw some very sick pts today
one going through severe alcohol withdrawal
another showing signs of significant brain injury
one who was so young with multiple organ failure
i followed their status through out the day
it's amazing how in one day i could feel so close to the patients and their families
how do they cope in such harsh circumstances
how does the body handle such truama, abuse, and pain
almost all the pts i saw today had to be admited
it was just another day at Parkland
but for me, it was a day i will remember for a time to come

finishing a book

it's always a bit sad for me when i finish a book. it's like saying good bye to a friend that i might not get to see for a while. i got to spend my work hours at the student center finishing The Power of One. it was a quiet afternoon so it was a good time and place to read with little interruption. i got to know the characters in the book really well. when i finish a book like that, i also want to meet the author. i wonder if the main character is at all like the author. i've "met" some real neat people through novels so i naturally think the creator of the character must be just as interesting.

one of the characters named Doc counsels his student and friend, "Inside all people there is love, also the need to take care of the other man who is his brother. Inside everyone is a savage, but there is also happening tenderness and compassion. When man is brutalized in such a place like this (a prison), always he is looking for small signs. The smallest sign that someone is worried for him is like a fire on the dark mountain. When a man knows somebody cares, he keeps some small place, a corner mabe of his soul, clean and lit."

that's the way i feel the ER is. a place where people come to look for a small sign that someone is worried for him. So i try, especially since i usually don't know what to do to help them, at least to let the patients know that i worry for them. i know it means a lot to me when someone i hardly know is willing to go the extra mile for me, so i'm sure the reverse must be true for the most part.

from surgery to ER

i'm glad i got placed in Parkland ER. the attending MDs and the residents are truly nice just as i heard through the grapevine. they are fun and even in the midst of the fast paced, high stress environment, they are able to take good care of the pts and each other. just like surgery, the paperwork is mountainous, but there seems to be less "seniority rules" type of mentality.

i worked 13 hours with no break yesterday, but it went by fast. i had little time to think of my stomach growling and my feet aching. trying to learn the system on the job seems a bit inefficient, but i guess they think its the best way. i was more of a hindrance than a help, but hopefully as i learn the system, i can be more helpful.

the resident i worked with yesterday was a great MD. it was nice to see how compassionate he could be with the pts. the pts come in very sick, but so many of them have been there before and thanked the Parkland ER for taking care of them. despite the long wait, they were patient. watching the pts get better for the most part in front of my own eyes as the day progressed was neat to see.

i get 5 days off for thanksgiving. maybe i can try to digest some things from the passed 2 days and be more prepared for the next shift.

pressing on

another week in surgery has passed. it's too bad that just when i think i'm learning some of the processes, procedures and such, the rotation is coming to a close. i like the new residents who are heading our service. they are more approachable and willing to show me things even when it is so elementary to them. i'm just starting to feel a little comfortable.

i also am learning how lonely the world of medicine can be, especially surgery. it is so hard to find time to have a life outside of it. it amazes me to see surgeons with families. i wonder how they do it when they seem to be at the hospital all the time. standing and leaning over the surgery table for hours, dissecting, resecting, tying, cutting, trying to not do more damage than good. one really has to love surgery to become a surgeon. unfortunately it fosters a type of attitude that i think if often quite ugly. they are usually so stressed that trying to be respectful, and kind is a waste of time and not worth it. so it's nice to see my chief resident who is so respectful and personable. it is nice to see the endocrine surgeon who acknowledges even me the student and looks at me when she is talking to me or when i am saying something. those are the ones that truly shine even in skill i think.

i'm looking forward to being able to sleep in a little after surgery rotation, and hopefully getting back to my exercise routing. i am sad that it is coming to a close though. i'll miss my team. i like mixing my days with clinic and surgeries. i learn so much from reading and preparing for cases and actually seeing the disease process under the skin. it was a good rotation though very humbling and challenging.