more lessons learning

as i get older, i'm realizing a few things
1) one can learn more from kids than adults
- i think i learn more of what not to do when i think about adults for the most part. how i don't want to be, and how i don't want to end up. when i am around kids, like my nephews and niece, i think about how much i want to be more like them. they are really good kids. considerate, honest, thoughtful, funny and fun. i hope i can spend more time with them as i grow older. i need their influence more than they need mine i think. they keep me from growing angry and bitter at the world as so often the real world tends to make us. they keep me wanting to do good and care for those that are so vulnerable.
2) don't force things to happen
- i'm learning to never force things to happen. i can try and should try to do what i think is good, but don't ever force things to be a certain way just because i think it should be. more often than not, things turn out better if i'm not so insistent. if i ask, and i get a no, then take the no until next time it's time to ask again. if i try something, and it doesn't work out, then let it be, until the next time it's time to try again. God knows my heart and I know he will withhold nothing that is good for me when i need it. there is true freedom in knowing that about God and trusting Him in that way. so when things don't go my way, i know even more that things will turn out for the better. it always has, it always will.

i think someone loves me

so i couldn't have planned this better even if i tried
i got on the plane to San Francisco to catch my plane to Korea
the plane was not only delayed in SF, it was overbooked
so they asked for volunteers to take a flight the day after
we could receive $500 voucher and business class travel through beijing
i had wanted to see Ella and Ethan so i volunteered and called Jin Mo
i got to spend a day with them, and oh how wonderful it was to play with them
even for a short while
it was the best Christmas gift ever and such a sweet surprise

now i'm in korea
the flight was long, but not so bad
there was a bit of an ordeal in beijing when they could't find my booking
but plenty of time to fix it

it took a while to locate my bags in korea
i thought maybe it got transfered somewhere else
in the midst of my traveling i met some very nice people
they helped me locate my bags and also not feel so alone in the big place

Jonathan, Thomas and Unni and Kunobba came to greet me
oh, how good it was to see their faces; their happy faces

i think someone loves me to make all this happen the way it did
i got to see all of my loved ones this winter
my only christmas wish came so sweetly

first night shift

so my first night shift at the ER wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i was okay til about 5 am when my eyes started getting very heavy. it was just as busy as the day time, so not much was different from working the day shift. there were lots of inmates, and pts who overdosed. i'm really starting to feel more comfortable seeing pts. i don't have the anxiety that use to be there whenever i started a day of clinic. i think that's partly due to the people that work in ER. The residents have been so nice. I have seen so many different things and worked with different people. I realize to a large degree that the ER at parkland is a family practice clinic to the many pts who don't have their own doctors. Except the wait is exceptionally long. I don't think i would ever go to the ER at Parkland unless it was truly an emergency just because the wait is so long. i got off a little early thankfully. i don't know how i drove home, but i did make it home and clonked out almost as soon as i stepped in the door. 1 night shift down, 1 more to go.